In today’s fast-paced world, the need for children to develop not just academic skills, but also strong social and emotional skills has never been greater. Social Emotional Learning (SEL) is an essential tool for teaching children how to navigate their emotions, build meaningful relationships, and make responsible decisions. As a licensed professional counselor specializing in children and play therapy, I’ve seen firsthand the remarkable benefits that SEL offers, particularly in areas such as dealing with anger, embracing diversity, understanding body boundaries, developing honesty, self-confidence, and mindfulness. These are critical life skills that can have a profound impact on a child’s future success, both personally and academically.
Below, I’ll not only discuss these important SEL topics, but also share practical tips for parents and teachers on how to bring each of these ideas to life in everyday moments, whether at home or in the classroom. By weaving these lessons into daily activities, we can empower children to grow into emotionally intelligent and resilient individuals.
One of the key aspects of SEL is teaching children how to manage difficult emotions like anger. Children often struggle to express frustration or disappointment in healthy ways, which can lead to outbursts or withdrawal. By incorporating SEL strategies, we can help children identify their emotions, understand their triggers, and find constructive ways to cope with anger.
For teachers, use a “calm corner” in your classroom where a child can go to cool down when they feel angry. Equip it with tools like stress balls, coloring books, or a journal. After the child has calmed down, first, express empathy by validating their feeling, then have a conversation about what triggered their anger and how they can handle it differently next time.
For both teachers and parents, help the child identify that they are feeling anger by stating, “You feel angry.” This can be taken a step further by attaching the reason that they may feel anger. For example, “You feel angry because you did not get the toy that you wanted at the store.” Identifying feelings and reasons for those feelings will create awareness for children and help them learn to regulate and communicate how they are feeling in the future.
Another way to aid children in expressing their anger in healthy ways is to strategize what coping skills they can use that do not harm others or others’ things. Assure them that it is okay to feel angry, but it is what we do with our anger that matters. For example, tearing scrap paper, punching a pillow, going outside, or jumping on a small trampoline are all great ways to release frustration and anger.
Teaching children to understand and appreciate diversity helps foster empathy and respect. When children learn that differences in race, culture, abilities, and perspectives are not only normal but also strengths, they become more compassionate and open-minded. SEL encourages children to view diversity as a way to grow stronger by learning from others’ experiences.
Incorporate books, movies, and activities that feature diverse characters and cultures. Encourage discussions that help children reflect on what makes each person unique and how they can learn from those differences.
Understanding body boundaries is crucial for a child’s sense of safety and well-being. Teaching children about consent and respecting their own and others’ personal space promotes confidence and self-respect. SEL tools provide ways to open conversations about body boundaries in an age-appropriate way.
Create opportunities to discuss body boundaries by using clear, simple language. Phrases like “Your body belongs to you” or “It’s okay to say no” reinforce the message. Role-playing situations where children practice saying “no” or asking for personal space can make these concepts more tangible.
Teaching children anatomical terms for their body parts, especially their genitals, can also be a way of ensuring safety so that they can properly communicate if something happens.
Honesty is a cornerstone of strong character, and SEL plays a vital role in nurturing this trait. Teaching children the power of truth helps them build trust in their relationships and develop a sense of responsibility. When children understand that being honest—even when it’s difficult—creates positive outcomes, they are more likely to value integrity.
Model honesty in your everyday interactions. When mistakes happen, own them and talk to children about how being honest leads to growth. Praise them when they tell the truth, especially in challenging situations, to reinforce the importance of honesty.
Self-confidence is essential for a child’s success in all areas of life. SEL helps children recognize their strengths and build a healthy sense of self-worth. By learning to trust their abilities, children become more resilient and motivated to take on challenges. For young girls, especially, building self-confidence around their appearance is crucial. Teaching girls that they don’t need makeup or fancy clothes to be beautiful fosters a healthy, positive self-image. Makeup and dresses can be fun and creative, but they aren’t what make them beautiful—those things just make them feel fancy. Their natural beauty, uniqueness, and personality are what truly shine.
Celebrate effort, not just outcomes. When children try something new or challenging, acknowledge their hard work regardless of the result. This reinforces the message that growth and confidence come from the process of learning, not just succeeding. Additionally, remind girls that while dressing up and wearing makeup can be fun, they are already beautiful as they are. Help them feel proud of their natural selves, and emphasize that confidence and kindness are what make someone truly shine.
Mindfulness is a wonderful tool to help children stay present, manage stress, and focus on the here and now. By teaching children mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing or developmentally appropriate guided meditation, we equip them with skills to handle the ups and downs of life more calmly.
Start the day with a short mindfulness exercise, like deep breathing or stretching. One specific exercise that is child-friendly is called “smell the roses and blow out the birthday candles.” Teach children to breathe deeply in through their noses to “smell the roses” and then exhale strongly to “blow out the candles.” Feel free to replace the “smelling section” for any smells that may be the child’s favorite (cookies, fruit, etc.). Even a few minutes can help children become more centered and focused. Apps like Headspace or Calm offer guided meditations specifically designed for children.
For teachers and parents, integrating SEL into daily routines doesn’t have to be complicated. Here are a few simple ways to do it:
SEL tools empower children to become emotionally intelligent individuals who are capable of navigating the complexities of life with resilience and empathy. Whether at school or home, by integrating SEL into everyday activities, we can give children the foundation they need to thrive emotionally, socially, and academically.
Let’s work together to raise confident, compassionate, and mindful children who understand the power of their emotions and relationships.
Alexandra is a licensed professional counselor-associate, located in the South Carolina Lowcountry. Specializing in early childhood counseling and play therapy, she finds so much fulfillment in providing a safe and nurturing environment to aid children in growth and healing.
For more tips and insights on SEL, stay tuned to Elizabeth Cole’s blog, where we share more resources to help children grow into their best selves.
